Mimicrymildewed [ghosts]haunt the c.r.a.c.k.s in the w do not a mistake l their voices l for s
See MeSee meFor who I amTake the time toPeer 'neath the surfaceAnd know me trulyInstead of taking meAt face valueDon't write me offAs a pretty faceAnd then be surprisedWhen you realizeYou never knew meDare to see me
WantsI want to be the dark abyssAbsorbing your chest cavity,I want to be the one you missThat holds you under gravity,I want to be the deadly kissThat settles your fatalityI want to be the broken veilTo sabotage the last good thing,I want to be the things you failThat finalize your will for tryingI want to be the hidden trailThat leads you to find everythingI want to be the last regretThat haunts you throughout every ring,I want to be the dreary setThat gloomy sullenness would bring,I want to be the thought of deathThat savors all your sufferingI want to be the lies you tellThat lead you through your false deception,I want to be the hopeless hellThat burns and distorts your perception,I want to be the love you felt...But that I am the one exception.
Why?Why do I speakwhen everyone would prefer quiet?Why do I show my facewhen everyone finds it appalling?Why do I trywhen everyone finds annoyance?Why do I liveif everyone wants me dead?I speakso I can spread God's word.I show my facebecause God loves the sight.I try hardbecause God wills me to.I livebecause God gave me the gift to.
My MaskI put my mask on.Time to face the day.Time to plaster on a smile.Time to pretend it's okay.I want to crawl in bed.Leave the world behind.You're too ugly to go out,whispers my mind.I know I am,I stifle a cry.I want to leave,I want to die.My mask is done,and I have to go.Time to face the people.Time to put on my show.
I Need You.What if I need you to stop me?What if I need you to stop me making myself sick for the fifth time today?What if I need you to stop me running that razor across my wrist tonight?But I've got to not need you anymore...Where are you?Where are you when I swallow all those pills?Where are you when I run out of a classroom bursting into tears?But you're not here for me anymore...Who can I talk to?Who can I talk to when I don't want to eat for four days?Who can I talk to when I can't take things anymore?But you don't really care anymore....Who can give me that support?Who's going to tell me it's okay to be scared?Who's going to give me that hug when I'm shaking?But not you, because my problems aren't your responsibility anymore...But now I am alone. And I can't feel this way.... Not anymore.
I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.A person who wants to kill herself.But wants to cry and then wants to laugh.Who makes a joke about cutting.But then gets triggered by the word cut.Who over analysises ever thing.Who dreams pathetic dreams.Who hasn't got the courage to do anything.Who disobeys her plan not to talk about her feelings.Who gets so jealous if others have it worse off.That's why she complains.But she shouldn't. Complaining stops her being the worst off.She planned to give up on love.But couldn't even do that.Who can control her anger.But doesn't want to because it pains her soul.She planned to commit suicide.But she probably won't have the guts.Who freaks out, reseaching about bipolar.Who doesn't care about anyone.And if she does she's helpless and worried and scared.Who wished to be reckless and stupid in ways to get way.But everything she does just makes it harder eacher day.